The Hairdresser
by LoveKittyPaw
Summary: Legolas decides that instead of saving the world, his real calling in life was to become...a hairdresser! Please read and review! I LOOOVE REVIEWS!!! THANK YOU!
1. Chapter One

1 Chapter One: A Good Haircut Gone Wrong  
  
  
  
~*Author's Note*~ The idea for this story actually came from my eight year old sister who adores Legolas as much as I do! She can actually be very smart when she wants too…. The first chapter sux, but it'll get better, I promise. But read and be afraid, and REVIEW PLEASE!!!! I LOVE REVIEWS, LOVE THEM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!!!! Anyway, also read my other Legolas story I wrote called Two Ugly Sisters. It's hilarious, I promise you! ^_^ Enjoy!!! Warning: This story contains shameless self-insertion. (but it comes later)  
  
  
  
  
  
Legolas sighed, running his hands over his well-worn bow. Even for all the excitement in his life, it seemed that there was another profession calling to him other than saving the world, something cleaner, purer, more innocent…. Aragorn approached Legolas who was sitting on the grass, lost in thought. "Something the matter my friend?" he asked quietly, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. Legolas looked up at him wordlessly and sighed heavily once again.  
  
"You know Aragorn…" he trailed off. "We have been friends for a long time, right? And you would support me in anything I did, right?" Aragorn nodded, unsure of where Legolas was heading. "What if I told you I wanted to leave The Fellowship?" he asked.  
  
"Leave-" Aragorn interrupted.  
  
"Yes. To become…" Legolas paused dramatically before going on. "A hairdresser."  
  
"A….hairdresser?" Aragorn choked out.  
  
"Yes. See, it all started many years ago…'  
  
  
  
~* Flashback*~  
  
  
  
(Legolas is narrating) "You see, I've always been proud of my hair….using the best L'Oreal shampoos and conditioners, John Frieda styling balm and frizz control lotion, deep conditioning treatments once a month, weakly split end appointments, straightening gels, flattening irons-"  
  
"Legolas, I get the picture." Interrupted Aragorn, disrupting Legolas' flashback.  
  
"Don't disrupt my flashback"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Anyways…."  
  
(A Little Legolas *ain't he adorable?* with perfectly straight blonde hair hops into a hairdresser's chair as the person puts on one of those bib thingys so the hair doesn't fall all over you on Little Legolas. Little Legolas smiles as the hairdresser starts to clip, but then cuts more hair, and more hair, and more hair, and more hair…well, you get the picture. The hairdresser grins and hands Little Legolas a mirror, and when he looks into it. HE SCREAMS!!! All his beautiful, perfectly straightened, L'Oreal shampoo and conditioner using, frizz control lotion filled hair is chopped off into a horrible buzz cut with some hair sticking randomly out in the sides! Little Legolas screams, and screams, and screams, and screams, and screams, and screams………….)  
  
  
  
~*End Flashback*~  
  
  
  
"So you see Aragorn," ended Legolas, "after that traumatizing experience I wanted more than anything to become a good hairdresser, to rid the world of horrible haircuts FOREVER!!!! But it was not meant to be. So now Aragorn, I ask you, as a friend, as a BROTHER, let me follow….my dream" Legolas got that starry look in his eyes and stared out at the horizon like in those really cheesy movies. Aragorn looked at him weirdly, thinking that his friend needed a mental hospital, and badly.  
  
"Ummm…..ok." said Aragorn, thinking that maybe a break would really help Legolas out. Legolas leapt up and rapturously hugged Aragorn before calling out to the rest of the fellowship, almost jumping up and down in happiness.  
  
"EVERYONE!!" he bellowed out, slinging an arm around Aragorn's shoulders as Aragorn himself rolled his eyes. "I'M GOING TO BECOME A HAIRDRESSER!!!" 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two : A Name Change, Anyone?  
  
  
  
After Legolas had announced his lifelong dream to become a hairdresser, the fellowship all stared at him like he was crazy, which, at this point, wasn't too far off the mark. But, as Aragorn had so tactfully pointed out when Legolas was talking euphorically to Gimli about different styling products he could recommend for his beard, this was what Legolas wanted, and as there was a lull in their quest to destroy the ring, he explained that he didn't see why Legolas couldn't give this hairdresser thing a whirl. The rest of the fellowship (Gimli excluded, who was now becoming quite interested in how to put his hair into a French twist, 'Perfect for battles.' As Legolas had pointed out. 'Keeps that hair out of your eyes') nodded agreeably. And so the fellowship was vaguely chatting about an hour later when the second surprise if the day came up. Gimli, ushered forward by Legolas, cleared his throat awkwardly. The rest of the fellowship looked at him expectantly, wondering what bomb he was going to drop now.  
  
"I have decided to be Legolas' assistant." He said, sounding rather loud in the hush that had descended over everyone else.  
  
"Yes," announced Legolas, attempting to break the ice, "We're going to open our own shop in Lothlorien together." Aragorn blinked. This hairdresser thing was getting WAY out of hand…  
  
"Are you sure Gimli?' Aragorn asked, though already almost positive of what the answer would be.  
  
"Yes. Legolas was telling me about how important deep conditioning is, especially when you're using a straightening iron, because your hair could get burned out and get a lot of split ends. Which why it is also important to trim your hair at least once every two weeks…" Aragorn and the rest of the fellowship tuned Gimli out after that, while Legolas was nodding enthusiastically……  
  
~*That Night*~  
  
"So you see, though many people think that Herbal Essences Shampoo and Conditioner uses more natural ingredients than L'Oreal Shampoo and Conditioner, studies have shown that this is completely false. In fact, that in terms of dandruff control, science has proven that L'Oreal Shampoo and Conditioner scored 50 PERCENT HIGHER than Herbal Essences. So clearly the better Shampoo and Conditioner is OBVIOUSLY L'Oreal." Finished Gimli with a flourish. Legolas nodded supportingly. Aragorn had long ago fallen asleep, drooling on his pack that he had been using for a pillow. Boromir was playing poker with Sam and Frodo, while Merry and Pippin were carrying on a fascinating conversation that for the last four hours had carried on along these lines :  
  
"Merry?"  
  
"What Pippin?"  
  
"I'm hungry"  
  
  
  
So, as you can imagine, emotions were running very high by the time Gimli had finished, which was why, by the time his speech, engrossing though it was, ended, the rest of the fellowship was prepared to buy Legolas and Gimli their own shop outright if only they would shut up about hair. In fact, Frodo personally was ready to get his head shaved just so he would never have to worry about hair again.  
  
"Anyway," said Legolas, clapping his hands happily, "Gimli and I haven't decided what to name our shop yet, and we were hoping that you guys could help us out." Aragorn rolled his eyes.  
  
"This is an elf with a REALLY unhealthy obsession with hair." He whispered to Sam. Frodo nodded.  
  
"It's actually becoming quite scary" Frodo hissed to Aragorn.  
  
"So, any suggestions?" asked Legolas again.  
  
"Oh, I know!" said Merry way too enthusiastically. "How about 'Hair and Hobbits'?"  
  
"Oh, oh, oh! I know!" added in Pippin. "What about 'Mushrooms and Makeovers'?" Legolas sighed, ignoring their comments, having learned that that was the best way to deal with the pair before they'd eaten. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers, and if it had been possible, a light bulb would have appeared over his head.  
  
"I GOT IT!" he yelled. "In honor of Gandalf, I will name our barbershop…" he paused dramatically, "SCISSORS AND WIZARDS!"  
  
  
  
~* Author's Note*~ Yes, this is getting really weird. And, just to clarify, Legolas isn't gay, he is just very fond of hair. ^_^ Anyway, will Scissors and Wizards be successful? Can Gimli really cut hair? Will Pippin ever stop being hungry? Find out in the next exciting chapter of…*duh nuh nuuhhhhhhhhhh* THE HAIRDRESSER!!! *thunder growls, lightning flashes, black cats hiss, a lady screams* lol  
  
P.S. Read my other Legolas fanfiction, called Two Ugly Sisters. You'll enjoy it, I promise! Bye!!!! 


	3. Chapter Three

1 Chapter Three : Adventures in Hairstyles  
  
  
  
And so, Legolas and Gimli opened their own barbershop in Lorien called 'Scissors and Wizards'. They had bullied the rest of the fellowship into all getting haircuts, because, as the pair had pointed out, they had been on the road for a while and all needed a good trim. They anxiously awaited their first costumer as they switched the closed sign to open and sat down to wait. Outside, the fellowship was having a heated conversation about who should go in first.  
  
"Frodo, you go in." said Merry, reaching a hand nervously to his own hair.  
  
"Hey, I'm already the ring bearer, don't lay this all on me! Aragorn, you go. You need it the most anyway." Aragorn shook his head, looking rather…scared?  
  
"Boromir," he said frantically, "As your captain, I command you to go get a haircut first."  
  
"Pippin, my dear hobbit Pippin, you go." Said Boromir. Pippin shook his head emphatically.  
  
"Sam, c'mon, you go."  
  
"Yeah Sam," piped up Frodo, "Go ahead first." Sam looked reluctantly at the faces of the fellowship.  
  
"Well, if you want me too Master Frodo…" he trailed off. There were choruses of 'yeah yeah! Go go!' from the others as Frodo nodded. Sam, defeated, his head bowed, walked into 'Scissors and Wizards' with a last helpless glance towards the rest of the fellowship as the door closed behind him.  
  
"So, Sam you're first!" said Legolas, stating the obvious, as Sam gingerly sat down as if there was going to be a bed of nails in his seat. Gimli put one of those hair apron thingys over Sam as he gulped audibly. Legolas took out a pair of scissors and Sam stared at them hopelessly and squeezed his eyes shut. Legolas started to clip away Sam's hair and Sam, seeing that he wasn't in any life-threatening danger, began to relax. Then he felt his chair unexplainably wobble, and Legolas hiss 'GIMLI!' and then '…oops.'.  
  
"What? What'dya mean 'oops' Master Legolas?!" said Sam frantically.  
  
"Oh nothing, nothing I can't fix with a little trim here and there." He said in a strangled voice. Then-"Gimli, WHAT DID YOU DO TO THESE SCISSORS?!" Sam heard Gimli mutter something about 'arts and crafts scissors with zigzag edges, accidentally gave the wrong one' before passing out.  
  
  
  
~*Half an Hour later*~  
  
  
  
Sam's head looked like he had gotten in a fight with a cave troll and lost horribly. His hair, thanks to Gimli's lovely arts and crafts zigzag edged scissors, was cut raggedly and close to his head in some places, and long and serrated in others. Because of Legolas' (well, actually Gimli's) horrible job, he was given a complimentary wig. The rest of the fellowship had watched in horror as Sam had gotten his hair cut, so when Legolas came out, followed sheepishly by Gimli, and asked with his regular enthusiasm 'Who's next?' everyone looked around in fear. Suddenly, Merry said,  
  
"Where's Aragorn?" Everybody looked around, and found that Aragorn had snuck a couple of feet behind them and was quietly slinking away. Boromir raced off and grabbed Aragorn by the collar and dragged him back over to the rest of the fellowship. Aragorn, cowering in fear, asked desperately not to have his hair cut.  
  
"You've had to have your hair cut some time Aragorn." Said Merry. Aragorn vehemently shook his head.  
  
"Why do you think it's so long?" he said back. Frodo grinned.  
  
"I think we've found our next hair cut victim! I mean, costumer."  
  
  
  
~*Author's Note*~ He he. Will Aragorn survive his encounter with Legolas and Gimli? Will Gimli ever learn how to be a good assistant? Find out in Chapter Four of…..THE HAIRDRESSER!  
  
P.S. Read my other Legolas fanfiction, called Two Ugly Sisters. You'll enjoy it, I promise! Bye!!!! 


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four : Are Those BUGS?!  
  
  
  
Aragorn was pushed rudely into 'Scissors and Wizards' by Sam, who still had one hand on his head trying to keep the wig on. Aragorn clawed at the glass door, his fingernails squeaking as Legolas pulled him into the chair by his legs.  
  
"Ooof…………..you're………….HEAVY……….!" With a final tug Aragorn's fingers lost their grip on the door edges, and he collapsed, panting, into the chair. "Now," said Legolas, dusting off his hands, and cheerfully strapping Aragorn into the chair so he couldn't escape like some kind of overly- enthusiastic torturer, "First things first." He bent down to peer more closely at Aragorn's hair, putting on gloves to gingerly touch it with tongs and finding his hair coated in grease and dirt. "When, exactly, was the last time you washed your hair?" Aragorn considered heavily.  
  
"Um………….I dunno. Maybe one or two centuries, give or take." He finally decided. Legolas grimaced.  
  
"Gimli, I think we're going to need L'Oreal double strength shampoo for oily hair, and get the L'Oreal extra conditioning treatment." Upon further consideration he added, " and some acid." He wheeled Aragorn over to those hair wash areas they have in hairdresser places, and sprayed down Aragorn's hair with the water. But unfortunately, Aragorn's hair didn't seem to be able to get wet. With all the oil in his hair, the water just kind of…rolled of. Legolas frowned, spraying it down more. The water rolled off. He sprayed it down MORE. The water rolled of. "Gimli," he announced grimly, we're going to have to use….IT." Gimli shuddered.  
  
"Are you sure you wanna use…IT…Legolas?" Legolas nodded. Gimli put on thick rubber gloves and took a bottle from a box labeled 'biohazard'. The bottle was bright red, and had a picture of a skull on it in white. On the bottom was a huge warning label that read 'WARNING : IMMDIATE AND HORRIBLY GRUESOME DEATH WILL RESULT IF INHALED, SWALLOWED, INGESTED, OR….. WELL, JUST DON'T USE THIS STUFF' Aragorn's eyes widened, and he started to scream, but Legolas stuffed a bottle of hairspray in his mouth.  
  
"I'm sorry I have to do this Aragorn. It's for your own good." He also put on thick rubber gloves that come to his elbows and an oxygen mask, and opened the bottle. Thick white frost stuff came out, and Legolas carefully poured it into the hair washbasin thing and started shampooing Aragorn's hair with it. "Now Aragorn," he added, "Just make sure you don't breathe deeply, and if any of this stuff gets into your eyes, nose, or mouth, just tell me because we'll have to take you to the nearest emergency room, ok?" he said happily. Aragorn tried to struggle, but Legolas had tied him down so tight it was impossible to move. Suddenly, something jumped out of the washbasin thing and scuttled over the floor quickly and into a hole in the wall. Gimli screamed.  
  
"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Legolas stepped back slowly and carefully.  
  
  
  
"Gimli," he said gravely, fearfully. "Aragorn has BUGS IN HIS HAIR." Gimli's mouth opened in horror. "Yes, lice, worms, cockroaches, everything imaginable." Continued Legolas sadly. "That's what happens when you don't wash it for over 100 years." He stepped over to a box by the far wall marked 'Emergency Supplies and Hair Products' and took out two orange bio safety suits (You know, the ones they use around nuclear power plants and anthrax and biological weapons, and stuff) and gave one to Gimli and put on the other one. He stepped back over to Aragorn's hair and took out a spray bottle marked 'Bug-B-Gone' and began dousing Aragorn's hair with pesticide. From the washbasin came the death throws and cries of hundreds of bugs, and then silence. "I think they're all dead." Legolas said. "Umm, lets move Aragorn to another hair wash thing. There's too many bugs in here." So he wheeled Aragorn, now practically passed out, to another washbasin thing. Aragorn's hair could now be rinsed, and (hopefully) the actual shampooing could begin. Legolas was just reaching for the L'Oreal bottle when he stopped. "Gimli, we need to do the acid wash first." Gimli reached for a gallon of acid, imprinted with a skull and crossbones, and handed it carefully to Legolas. Legolas poured it all over Aragorn's hair, and it hissed as it broke apart the dirt, oil, and grease. "Don't move Aragorn, or this acid will painfully eat away your skin." He said with a cheerful grin.  
  
"Umm, Legolas, won't this damage his hair?" Legolas shook his head, brightly pouring on the rest of the acid.  
  
"Of course not. This is just scratching the surface." Then, rinsing that out, he grabbed a bottle of L'Oreal Extra Strength Shampoo For Oily Hair and vigorously rubbed it into Aragorn's hair. He followed that with conditioner, and then, once Aragorn was calmed down enough, a blow-dry. Using, of course, John Frieda styling balm and frizz control lotion, then going over his hair once with a flattening iron. When it was done, the true color of Aragorn's hair was revealed, instead of black,: a light, platinum blonde, a little deeper than Legolas' color. Aragorn looked at his hair in the mirror wonderingly.  
  
"It's so soft and shiny, and silky, and so…MANAGEABLE! THANK YOU LEGOLAS! YOU'VE SAVED MY HAIR!" Legolas grinned.  
  
"I'm just doing my job."  
  
  
  
~*Author's Note*~ Aragorn's hair was a success, will this continue for the rest of the fellowship? I wrote this story at 4:30 in the morning after staying up all night after watching 13 ghosts…….that movie is SCARY………that girl with her head in the cage thing…….*shudders* Anyway, so sorry if it's a little…weird. ^_^ Insomnia takes its toll…. Watching late-night cheesy shows is NOT GOOD FOR THE BRAIN………But is it me, or is this a long author's note? Oh well. PLEASE REVIEW, AND FOR THOSE WHO HAVE, THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	5. Chapter Five

~*Author's Note*~ Ah yes, this chapter contains spoilers for the Two Towers. Had to get that out of the way. This chapter is a little…strange, to say the least. Too much Key Lime pie. Oh, and if you have any suggestions for what to do with the story, do not hesitate to tell! I'll practically ALWAYS put it in. AND REMEMBER, REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!! (And I worship the people who give them too! ^_^) Ciao!  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Five : A VERY Unexpected Visitor  
  
  
  
  
  
After the success of Aragorn's hair, the fellowship didn't think it would really be so bad to get their hair cut. So Merry was just about to go inside, when a voice behind them yelled:  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M GOING IN FIRST!!!!!!!!!" Everybody turned around, and saw, completely and utterly surprised, Gandalf, with huge black sunglasses, dressed in a pink and orange polka doted Hawaiian shirt and yellow and green horizontally striped shorts with palm trees at the bottom. He was also wearing sandals with socks, and his staff in one hand was wearing a straw hat and in his other hand he held a pina collata. Everybody stared.  
  
"GANDALF?!" they said in complete unison.  
  
"Umm, yessssssss, see, I know I wasn't supposed to reappear until I defeated that Balrog thing and come back in the Two Towers, but, see, in reality I was vacationing in Hawaii with Saruman, Gollum, and Sauron. But then Gollum started saying he had better fashion sense than me, and Saruman said I REALLY needed a manicure, and Sauron said that he puts on better eye makeup so I said 'FINE! I'LL GET A MAKEOVER!' so now I heard that Legolas opened his own beauty salon and I just LOVE Legolas' hair, so, umm, here I am!" he finished. Everybody stared. For a while. A very LONG while.  
  
"Umm, Gandalf?" said Frodo finally, "Why is your staff wearing a hat?" But before Gandalf could answer that intriguing question, Legolas came out, followed by Gimli.  
  
"Ahhhh, Gandalf, back from your Hawaiian vacation I see." Said Legolas brightly.  
  
"Hey wait, how does HE know about your vacation?" asked Aragorn.  
  
"Hey, I get it, this is why Legolas wasn't as sad as all of us when Gandalf 'died'!" said Pippin.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, and why when we asked what the elves were singing about Gandalf in Lothlorien, he didn't tell us because they were singing about Gandalf being in Hawaii!" shouted Merry. Legolas grimaced.  
  
"Hey, Gandalf, why don't you come in, like RIGHT NOW." He said pointedly, pushing Gandalf inside and locking the door. "So, what do you want?" he asked. Gandalf considered.  
  
"Well, it's been a good while since I got a pedicure. Let's start with that first."  
  
"See, um, Gandalf, I really only do HAIR…" trailed off Legolas. Gandalf looked EXTREMELY angry.  
  
"Oh really?" he said, getting all blue and scary like Galadriel. "So are you saying you WANT me to be a laughingstock in front of 'Mr. Perfect Nails' Saruman? I WANT TO BE A WIZARD WITH REALLY……….GOOD……….NAAAAAIIIIIIILLLLLSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he said, his hair flying everywhere, with the rest of the room getting all dark. Gimli was huddled in a corner screaming his lungs out, covering his face.  
  
"Ok Gandalf, FINE." Gave in Legolas, kneeling down to take of Gandalf's sandals.  
  
"Oh goody then." Said Gandalf, the 'kindly old wizard' once again. (But don't be fooled people, you see what he can do when the man wants a pedicure.) Legolas yanked his sandals off (they seemed to be fused to his feet with a combination of sand and sweat) and started to remove his socks. But then a horrible smell came off Gandalf's feet, filling the whole room.  
  
"Gandalf," said Legolas, holding his nose, "what did you do to your FEET? And when did you last change these socks?!" he added in alarm, as flies started buzzing around Gandalf's socks like they were a pair of dead cows.  
  
"The Thursday of last week, no wait, the week before last week, no, the week before THAT…" Gandalf trailed off, unsure. "Why? Does it matter?" Legolas looked like he was going to faint. Gulping, he finished pulling off the socks, not wanting to see Gandalf go all Galadriel again. He stared down at Gandalf's feet. The jagged and uncut nails grew up about two inches and seemed to be curling into his toes. The nails were also a sick yellow color.  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhhh…………………." Legolas whispered, about to be sick. He couldn't do this. He COULD NOT do this. He liked HAIR. He did HAIRCUTS. Not pedicures for old men that didn't wash their feet or change their socks for more than three weeks. "Oh…..my…." Legolas couldn't take it anymore. He ran out of the room and into the forest, about to throw up. The last thing he heard before passing out from the most disgusting thing he'd ever seen in his life was Gandalf screaming :  
  
"WHAT? WAS IT MY FEET?" 


	6. The long awaited Chapter Six - YEY!!!

Chapter Six : Galadriel with holt pink hair? …..Oh my!  
  
  
  
After Aragorn and Gimli found and wheeled Legolas out of the woods on a stretcher and woke him up by spraying Herbal Essences Volumizing Gel in his face, and Legolas shampooed and styled his hair because his hair had a micro grain of dirt in it when his head had hit the forest floor, he was ready to go back to Scissors and Wizards. But, he already found a costumer waiting for him. Galadriel herself.  
  
"I looked in my mirror Legolas, and it showed me that I needed to get a haircut." She announced. "Something crazy. Something flashy. Something that says, 'I love Gandalf and I'm not afraid to hide it!'" The fellowship stared. "I-I-I mean, 'I love, er,…Golf and I'm not afraid to hide it!'" Everybody blinked. "Oh yes, um, that Tiger Woods, huh? Veeeeeeery sexy." She said. "Right, I'll just, um, go in now then." Everybody kept staring. She went inside nervously.  
  
"So, um, you love golf now?' asked Legolas, getting out his scissors. "Funny, I heard you mention just yesterday that golf is the most vile sport in the world." Galadriel tried helplessly to grope for a response. "BUT I DID HEAR YOU SAY that you had a 'thing' for old hot wizards with gray hair." Her mouth opened. "AND," said Legolas, "I found THIS," he held out a magazine labeled, 'Play Wizard', with very…explicit… content," in your chamber." Galadriel grabbed it.  
  
"Don't be REDICULOUS Legolas. That is, um, Haldir's." (but we all know the sick, sick truth. Galadriel loves Gandalf.) From outside, the fellowship was singing. And NOT a lovely elfin ballad either. 'Galadriel and Gandalf sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage…' Gimli cleared his throat from behind Legolas. Galadriel looked up in surprise. "What are YOU doing here?" she asked with a slight sneer.  
  
"What? Worried I'm cramping your elfin style?" shot back Gimli.  
  
"ALL dwarfs cramp my elfin style." Galadriel said angrily.  
  
"Well, all elves cramp my dwarfish style." He said after a moment.  
  
"Ok, these horrible comebacks are getting annoying, plus, it sounds like a very bad rap song. Gimli, just do me a favor and go over…there…somewhere…" Legolas said with a sigh, waving vaguely off to the left. Gimli glared at him. "She's my customer!" Gimli, grumbling something about 'Revenge, oh yes, revenge, REVENGE….' went into a corner and sat down glumly. "Now," said Legolas, turning back to Galadriel, "How do you want your hair done?" Galadriel considered.  
  
"Well, how about a little trim, just two or three inches, no longer, and perhaps a bit of that color-enhancing shampoo? My REAL hair color is starting to show through." (Yes, Galadriel does not have pretty blonde hair. In actuality, her hair is horribly curly, like a gigantic bush, and is a dirty, muddy brown. She dies it blonde and has it professionally straightened. AND she also wears color contacts. Thought her eyes were blue? Nope. They're really a distorted brownish-milky-white/watery blue thing. )  
  
"Right." Said Legolas, wheeling her over to the hair wash station thing. He grabbed a bottle of color-enhancing shampoo and started rubbing it into her hair. But, instead of it being gold, the shampoo was hot pink. 'Hmm,' Legolas thought, 'Now why is it hot pink? Oh well. That pretty elf was outside the shop today. She has such nice hair, but there were lots of split ends…' And that was how possibly the most horrible mistake ever to happen in Lorien happened. After he was done shampooing her hair, he brought her back to the chair where he would cut her hair. He turned away to get the scissors, and Gimli snuck behind him and over to Galadriel. He took out his arts and crafts scissors with the zigzag edges and started cutting her hair with his eyes closed. Then he snuck away. Legolas turned back to Galadriel, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. "AHHH!"  
  
"What's wrong Legolas?" asked Galadriel. Legolas gulped.  
  
"I, uh, you're just so beautiful, I felt like, like screaming." He stammered out, glaring death at Gimli. Gimli grinned evilly. He motioned toward the bottle of hot pink hair die and mouthed, 'did you do that too?' Gimli grinned even more evilly. "Um…Galadriel…? How do you feel about, er, really really really short hot pink hair?"  
  
"Oh I hate it." she said.  
  
"Ha. Ok, um, well, start considering it strongly."  
  
"Why?" he turned her around to face the mirror. At first she was stunned. Then : "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She took a breath. "Legolashowcouldyoudothistome?IwastoldyouwereaverygoodhairdresserandnowTHIS? I'llgetyoufiredandkickedoutofLothlorienforever,IsweartoELBERETHLegolas,Iwill ,Iwill,Iwill,Iwill,IWILL!" she said very fast. Then she slapped him and stocked out, but not before grabbing a wig off his wig rack. Legolas groaned.  
  
  
  
"GIMLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !"  
  
  
  
~*Author's Note*~ Yes, this story hasn't been updated in like a MONTH. I've been busy publishing other things ^_^. BUT, I finally did it, even if it is short. YEY!! SO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY REVIEWERS, I WORSHIP THEM!!!! SO PLEASEEEEEEE FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO REVIEW!!!!!!!!! 


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